Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Don't ever call a girl fat

It actually really hurts when someone calls you fat.I am really fat & i can see that you dont have to remind me of my insecurities who are you to criticise me ?

I've been called fat from my parents, siblings and even really young kids and guess who else my teachers. I am not saying that am not fat 
stop pointing out its just kills me.I just hate our community they just point out the bad in you and forget all about the good things.Maybe am the only one sensitive about this subject and it really irritates me when someone talks with me about it.I dont want to feel this way anymore that everyone is staring at me although no one is.
am already ashamed of myself and people are making it worse. Like for example once i wrote on am agenda that if i reached my goal weight by january1 i'll buy me a Moschino belt then my best friend took my agenda and added "if you reach your goal weight" its like my own best friend is not believing in me or not supporting me or whatever its not that i care about her note it just hurts coming form my best friends you know. 
I always feel better when i write whats bugging me it just make me feel relaxed.its like a stress ball i guess. 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Mini makeup Haul w/swatches

Sorry I haven't updated for a while I had exams and now am finally on my spring break and am back with a collective mini haul ..so during my exams period the only way to reveal the stress was shopping online I bought couple beauty products  from Nordstrom that have been eyeing for a while so let's get started !  so i bought 3 NARS products and 1 mac lipstick 

                                                              NARS casino bronzer

Casino bronzer is dark rich brown with golden shimmers that just give you a sun kissed look  and its      really good for contouring since the gold shimmer is not that obvious

                          P.S i forgot to take a picture of penny lane alone so i just googled it 

Penny Lane cream blush is a nice pink everyday blush. it looks like you're blushing or just came from the beach (not sun burned just like when you're coming back from a sunny area )                                             
                                                            AND HERE ARE SOME SWATCHES OF THEM  
                                                                                          without flash 
                                                                                               with flash 

                                      as you can see from the swatches the shimmer in the bronzer do not show at all 


                                                        NARS dressed to kill lipstick

Nars "Dressed to kill" lipstick its from there 2013 Summer/Spring collection. as my first NARS lipstick i was really shocked when i received it it has really huge chunks of gold glitter and the consistency feels weird (maybe because of the glitter ) but over all the lipstick's color is really beautiful maybe with the right makeup look.

                                                               mac lipstick in "brave"


MAC "brave" lipstick is that pinky "my lips but better " color i really loved it with my everyday makeup look i feel like it just goes with any makeup look.

and finally their swatches

without flash 

with flash 

so thats my mini haul i was really excited when i received them but i was really disappointed with some  and some just mad my day anyways if you want  a review of the products just comment below and i'll do it.



It makes me proud rereading my blog. I've never done something big like this its like exposing  my self to the world and am loving it.I really want to write a lot but i actually have nothing to say. Am searching for any exciting moment to write about but naaah it's ain't working. So because of that i decided to share with you my favorite song.i've been listening to this song non stop for the past 3 days maybe its mirror by Justin tembirlake but i found a better version of the song its a cover by the awesome sam tsui & kurt Schneider. ahh its just the best !!!why am i still talking ? just listen 

Enjoy it 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Weight loss update

Things have been tough these days I've been binging a lot and gaining weight *say whattt* ya I am and am really not happy about it .. As every teenage girl or at least in our generation super models (aka  Victoria secret models) are our role models. I actually feel sorry for them starving themselves  to death working out like a machine is not a role model for our generation and the upcoming ones as I've seen and read the total of anorexic people in the world is increasing and even really young children are starting to starve them selves to death and take care of their health which is good but they're doing it the wrong way "obviously" - that was so off topic what I was talking about is I realised that I have to stop all of this and try again. I don't want to lose a lot of weight and regain it again ( and thats exactly what am doing for the past year ) am destroying my  own body like that. i already have stretch marks i dont know what will happen to them when i lose the excess weight but at least i'll try to prevent them from increasing in my body by losing weight. to be honest its pretty hard for me to go back on track, with all those delicious food every where and my mom's cooking it just kills me. i start my day normal am fully motivated to start am going to the kitchen to make a green detoxing smoothie or just grab anything healthy my mom comes to me and tells me " maryam i just made some of you favorite pancakes with maple syrup " thats when i change my mind and everything evaporates from my brain. My only motivation and what's keeping me going is my graduation and prom !! i really want too look gorgeous and healthy not fat and over weight. 
Anyways that was a long introduction lets get to the point. I decided to document it on my blog I guess this will help me with my progress and truly I was inspired by a lot of weight loss bloggers anyways I decide to blog once a week I'll put my weight measurements and everything !! I guess that's better for me I'll start by now and every week I'll update you guys.  
here's my plans 
current weight : 75kg
goal wight 1 :70kg
goal weight 2 :67kg
goal weight 3: 64kg
goal weight 4:60kg
goal weight 5:58 kg

 i decided to divide it to mini goals because i feel its going to be easer to achieve ( i hope so) and it sounds more realistic. I really want to succeed this time and I hope I do ..
Tell me about your weightloss storyy if you have one or what's you're struggling from and we mihht help each other
Take care
P.S i'll add my measurements later i dont have them now.